Under Pressure

Pressure. Inordinate amounts of pressure. And with it, stress. Then throw a little fear into the melting pot and that is the recipe for this week’s emotions. Not the paralyzing fear I experienced two years ago when I realized moments before the pathology test that I had actually forgotten everything I had studied. This is more of a nagging, dull fear. A fear born of apprehension and albeit helplessness…because like most people, I have a bit of glossophobia weighing on my mind.

22 hours of perusing, reading, searching, summarizing and one lengthy literature review later, I’m still unsettled about the whole presentation part to this senior paper. I hear my undergraduate self-talk. I survived Public speaking in undergrad just fine, but that does not mean it’s any easier now than it was then. I’m almost glad I procrastinated so uncharacteristically because it’s ended up reducing the total number of days I have to spend worrying about the ordeal. And I know I;m getting down to business when the contacts come off and the glasses go on.

Having seccum to the flu for the past 5 days, I’ve also missed out on my rotation. Much catching up to do tomorrow, that is for sure. With any luck, I’ll be reviewing my small animal notes tonight to help soften the information overload of tomorrow. Not the most interesting of entries, I understand. But I’m exhausted…and feel uncomfortably close to burn out.

May is so close; I’m in the final stretch….can’t stop now.